so i completely neglected the blog towards the end of my pregnancy...which was probably a good thing. i was cranky. i was not a happy mama. if i had made any entries, they would've been cranky and no fun to read.
the crankiness finally gave way to a surprisingly fast and very intense 1-1/2 hour labor and birth. during a snowstorm. i didn't have time to use any of my comfort measures (i had envisioned a fire in the fireplace, hot tea, listening to music...none of it happened). here's the story:
i woke up Jan. 24th with bloody show and some crampy ctx, but i'd had that the day before, too. i figured it would be another day of prodromal labor, so decided to lay on the couch, especially since i knew corey would be gone most of the day at the funeral home (yay for being on call!).
towards the afternoon, the ctx got a bit intense and i had more show, so i thought for sure i was heading into active labor. i told corey to come home at his earliest convenience because i thought it was time and i got the birth supplies out and ready to go....then it all stopped. which made me feel dumb. how can i be on my third kid and not know if i'm in labor?
corey got home a couple hours later and during that time nothing had really happened. ctx had all but stopped and i wasn't having anymore show. i was getting extremely frustrated. my mom and dad brought dinner over later in the evening. i kept having a pressure sensation, but couldn't really call it ctx because it didn't hurt. at that point, though, i was just hoping that labor would start by the following morning, otherwise corey would have to go into work.
after the kids went to bed, i ended up taking a nap on the couch until about 1:30 am, at which point corey decided to go to bed. i was still having pressure, and an occasional crampy ctx, but it never felt like labor; it never got a pattern going. i was restless, though, so from 1:30 to 3 am i puttered around the house, took a bath, watched tv, all the while convinced i was having more prodromal labor and i'd never see the end of this...
i had a couple intense ctx at 3 am that really got my attention, and some more show. i was getting really restless, moving from the toilet to the living room, arguing with myself about the pros and cons of getting back into the bathtub. i started to get nauseous. i wanted company. i woke corey up and he came out and laid on the couch while i continued wandering back and forth, spaced out (the thought that i might be in transition crossed my mind, but i couldn't believe that could be a possibility since i hadn't even really been laboring up to this point). i did have enough sense to get the chux pads and towels into the living room, though. good thing...
(this next part gets all stream-of-consciousness because that's really the only way i remember it)
round about 4 am (i think, can't be sure) i started having what i finally would've called labor ctx...except they were more like late labor ctx, and i hadn't had a chance to build up to that yet, so i couldn't get on top of them. and now i'm grunting at the peak of the ctx. and now i'm pushing. no, wait, pushing? why am i pushing? i can't be ready to push yet...what the hell is going on here? but there's definite blood on the chux pads i put down in front of the couch, and i can no longer lean on the couch in between ctx, but i think that's more because now i'm not getting a break in between ctx, they're right on top of each other, can't catch a break...and now my pelvis is being forced open, the baby's head is moving through, and i can feel every bit of it. on my knees in front of the couch, the head goes through my pelvis and drops onto the pelvic floor in one fluid movement. water finally breaks. corey wakes up and jumps behind me to catch. i check the color of the water on the pads real quick, then try to go back to focusing on what's happening, because now the head is crowning and it's everything i can do to hold it back and let the tissue stretch to avoid tears...my body is in control and just wants everything out now, and i'm doing everything i can to fight my body to prevent damage...i can feel the head hasn't molded. i hold back as long as possible and then give in. the head comes out, then the body without a pause. corey manages to catch her and maneuver her around to my front while i sit back. her cord is wrapped around a leg, goes across her shoulders and the back of her neck, and is tangled up in her right arm, holding it up at an angle behind her head. while untangling, i see meconium smeared on her, and now on me, but i know it must have happened while she was emerging or shortly after because the water had been clear. i manage to get it untangled and then check to see what we have....a GIRL!! i thought for sure it was a boy!! but i don't care, i have a baby!
i think she was half-asleep when she came out. she made a couple squawks after a few minutes, but initially just grunted and half opened one eye. she seemed a little put out that she found herself outside her cozy home, but was willing to go along with the location change. born at roughly 4:35 am, Jan. 25, 2010, weighing 9 lbs 2 oz and 22 inches long.
so there it is. i have a squishy 6-week-old sleeping on me as i post this. i thought for sure i was done having babies, that this would be my last, but i'm finding myself rethinking that decision...i can't say for sure that i'm done. i just can't. it's too final. so instead i will wait and see what the future holds for us. maybe in another few years...